As a parent we may, as our children develop, find ourselves cushioning them from conflict, discourse and where possible negativity. The key to this thoughtful approach is balance.
Children are, in record numbers, becoming depressed in their teen and young adult years. Conflict resolution skills are under developed, responsibility for employment or class requirements are felt as a burden, the unfair realities of the world become real and the necessary emotional intelligence that is a tool for coping doesn’t exist.How can we equip our children o handle the stresses that they will inevitably encounter as they enter the “real world?”
How manyparents/ caregivers observe children who will not take no for an answer? Children who have no empathy or refuse to join the community that is a family/school choosing to be generally uncooperative?
Secure children will feel a sense of accomplishment from a job well done, a sincere effort made even when not successful and can participate within a collaborative community knowing that their paret is necessary and useful.
As you get to know your child ( and this is an ongoing awareness as children grow) it is advantageous to give responsibility and expect accountibility that is appropriate to a childs’ developmental level.
For example, a preschooler can help set a table, clean up an activity before transitioning , put on their own clothes and accept the consequences for ignoring understood guidelines.
Give your child credit for being able to process your expectations and find satisfaction in being part of the family/class in which they participate. Fear grows from insecurity and insecurity grows from not knowing what is expected. This topic moves into the topic of conistency/flexibility. We can discuss that at another time.